Finding the Right School Fit: Expat Family Journey in Malaysia

Meet Sam and her expat family.

When she moved to Penang from the UK with her husband and two gorgeous daughters, she didn’t think finding the right school would be one of their biggest challenges. Or that it would end up being one of the main reasons she’d want to stay. 

Read on to discover Sam’s story, which offers an insight for expat families about navigating finding the right school (and family life) abroad.

An Unexpected Opportunity

“Relocating overseas was always something I’d considered,” Sam says. Having lived in Thailand when she was 18, Sam has long had the travel bug! So moving overseas was something she’d always hoped would be an option, but it was all about timing.

The opportunity came through her husband’s colleague, who had relocated to Penang and mentioned a job opening. “My husband came home one day and said, ‘What do you think?’ And although I’d never even been to Malaysia before, I thought why not? Let’s have a look and explore the option.”

The timing felt right: Sam had just returned to work after having her second daughter, and their eldest daughter was about to start reception. The company flew them out for a visit, and soon after, they made the move.

The School Selection Journey

For many expat families, choosing the right school is one of the most important decisions they’ll face when moving to a new country. 

“When finding the right international school we initially struggled with our eldest due to the academic side of things,” Sam says. She initially enrolled her at a British curriculum school, which felt like the right fit. It was familiar and comfortable – and the obvious choice. But the reality was quite different.

“The population of her class was less international than I had probably anticipated. It was made up of mostly local Asian children, and while I was excited for her to make friends from other cultures, it soon became clear that many of the other kids’ academic levels and expectations were quite different.”

The result was less than positive for her daughter: “What it unfortunately did was really affect her confidence at school. We saw a huge drop in that first year.”

Sam noticed her daughter’s self-esteem diminishing as she compared herself to classmates academically. There was far more academic rigour than Sam had expected at such a young age, especially since her daughter was only in reception. Sam reflected that this could have been the case if her daughter had started a British curriculum school in the UK, but with no comparison, it was difficult to know.

Cultural Adjustments as an Expat Family

The experience meant Sam sought out more Western connections for her daughter. “I gravitated towards trying to find British, or Western friends for her….. because I wanted her to be hanging out with other kids that were a bit more similar to her. And parents that had a similar outlook to me in terms of the importance of play rather than being ‘academic’ at such a young age”.

It wasn’t about avoiding integration, but trying to find a balance where her daughter could feel more confident and be around like-minded kids.

“I needed her to feel she wasn’t competing or comparing herself to others. And for her to know that she was actually pretty similar in terms of academic ability to most other kids from the same cultural background.”

Finding the Right Fit for Her Expat Family

After a year and a half, and plenty of discussions and research, they moved their daughter to a different international school, and saw an immediate difference.

“She’s absolutely thriving,” Sam beams. “We’ve got the balance right.”

What made the difference? Sam says there are a few things that she believes the new school offers that the previous one didn’t:

• A truly international student body rather than predominantly local
• Smaller class sizes (13 students versus 30)
• Values-led education with a focus on holistic development
• Supportive and flexible teachers

“She now wakes up in the morning and asks, ‘What are we doing today?’ When I tell her it’s a school day, she’s like ‘Yes!'” Sam laughs. “It’s been such a positive turnaround”. 

The Expat Bubble 

One unexpected aspect of expat life that Sam discovered was how interconnected the international school community is. With many of her new friends working as international teachers in schools around Penang, she’s got insider knowledge about different schools’ reputations and realities.

“Becoming friends with teachers means you quickly learn the reality behind schools. For example, how they’re being managed, whether they’re financially secure, what they’re really doing compared to what they say they’re doing.”

Having access to this network helped her research which school to move her daughter to. It has also created an interesting dynamic where social and educational worlds overlap in ways they wouldn’t necessarily back home.

Lessons for Other Expat Parents

Sam’s expat family experience offers some insights for other parents thinking about moving internationally:

1. Look Beyond Shiny Facilities

“When you look at the first school we chose, the campus itself was a lot newer. They had amazing resources and top-notch facilities. The school my daughter is at now is definitely not as shiny. It’s a much older school and even a bit run down, but the crux of what they’re doing and their approach to learning is much more in line with our daughter’s needs.”

2. Ask About Values and Implementation

“Really look at the values of the school that your kids are going to. Most schools have ‘values’, but are they really embedded throughout the school and do they impact what they’re doing and how the kids are learning?”

Sam noticed that at the new school, the values are truly integrated into school life. Her daughter often refers to the values in their home life, demonstrating how deeply these values are being absorbed.

3. Be Wary of Newer Schools

“I think if I’ve learned anything about international schools, I’d say just be aware that new schools are still learning.”

One major difference she noticed when switching schools was the streamlined communication and administrative processes at the more established school. While it’s not perfect (no school comms ever is!), it’s a lot better than her previous experience. 

While it’s not to say all new schools are bad, Sam suggests established schools with years of experience might be a safer choice than brand-new institutions still working out their systems.

4. Consider Class Size and Teaching Approach

Wherever Sam moves in the future, one of the first questions she says she’ll ask schools is how they structure the school day and what they’re doing in the classroom. 

“I really want to understand what the kids are doing in the classroom, the resources they have, and how they present the work to the kids.” 

As well as the size of the classes, with smaller class sizes obviously giving the opportunity for much more flexible and individual support. 

5. Understand the Local Education Culture

Although she did her research before moving to Malaysia, the academic expectations still surprised Sam at their first school, where 5-year-olds were already taking spelling tests. 

Cultural differences in educational approaches can significantly affect a child’s experience. And lead to feelings of inadequacy – so it’s definitely worth making sure you know the approach of the school you choose and what the expectations are academically.

Adapting to an Expat Family Lifestyle

Adapting to expat family life in Malaysia is also more than selecting the right school. There are certain aspects of daily life that have definitely required an adjustment, particularly for the girls.

“As much as we love it here, there are some things we do miss. Like just getting on the bikes and going for a bike ride. It’s hot obviously in Malaysia, but also there aren’t many cycle paths and the roads are not safe for riding with the kids,” Sam explains. 

These changes have affected her kids’ physical capabilities in unexpected ways. When they recently visited the UK, Sam noticed her youngest was less used to walking long distances. 

“She doesn’t really walk anywhere in Malaysia, so when we went home and tried to go on a big walk on Dartmoor, she couldn’t hack it. Physically, she’s just not used to it.”

But new opportunities have balanced these challenges. “The girls are brilliant swimmers. Back home, they’d be lucky to do swimming once a week in an indoor pool. Here they’re jumping in the pool every five minutes at our apartment complex,” Sam laughs.

Professional Challenges as an Expat

While many expats relocate with company positions already secured, trailing spouses often face significant hurdles in continuing their careers abroad. Which is what happened with Sam, even when trying to offer her valuable skills on a volunteer basis.

“When we first moved here, I invested so much time and energy to see if there was anything I could do with my skills and knowledge locally,” Sam explains. As an occupational therapist with extensive UK experience, she was eager to contribute.

Before moving to Malaysia, she contacted Malaysian delegates at a World Federation of Occupational Therapy conference in Paris. “He was so excited that I was coming,” Sam recalls. “He put me in touch with the President of the Malaysian OT association who lives and works in Penang.”

However, despite initial connections opening doors, Sam encountered persistent roadblocks.

“I spent a day with them at the local hospital, shadowing them, talking to them. I offered to deliver training for free, to come in for shadowing sessions. I wanted to learn from them, too.”

However, bureaucracy stalled these opportunities: “I was told I needed agreement from the hospital CEO. Unfortunately, the response I got was that because I wasn’t Malaysian, it couldn’t be arranged.”

Similar patterns emerged with universities and professional associations. “I presented two different workshops for the Malaysian OT association, but apart from that, everything I attempted to set up was cancelled. There were never any reasons given aside from that I wasn’t Malaysian.”

“Perhaps I was a bit naive before coming here,” she admits. “I really thought I could understand more about how Asian occupational therapy works in healthcare and share my experience.

Finding Your Educational Home Abroad

Three years into their Malaysian adventure, Sam’s family has found their rhythm. What began as a challenge to find the right educational fit is now one of the main reasons they’re happy to extend their stay.

“I think now the aim, if we can, is to see both girls through primary education here because it’s so good,” Sam explains.

As their expat family journey continues, Sam’s perspective has changed. She no longer sees their time in Malaysia as a temporary adventure. Instead, it’s become an integral chapter in their family story. The question of “home” has become more nuanced, with their daughters developing connections to both Malaysia and the UK.

“What we’ve learned is that home isn’t just about geography. It’s about where our family feels is home and where the girls feel confident and comfortable,” Sam reflects. 

Hopefully Sam’s story can offer any expat family considering a move reassurance. Sure, the challenges will come when you move to a new place (let alone a new country!). But, with research, flexibility, and patience, finding the right school can transform an overseas move to a genuinely enriching experience for the whole family.